Only One Life To Live

Finding happiness - is it an illusion?

2007-11-15T20:09:00.000+11:00

In our lives, we often pursue things that make us excited and happy such as buying a new car, getting new clothes, going on an overseas trip, or getting a job. But how satisfying are these in the long run?

Psychology studies have shown that about a year after the 'happy event', a person's happiness will decrease to the same level as if the event never happened. Thus someone who won the lottery a year ago would be just as happy as someone who was seriously injured and became a paraplegic at the same time.

These studies suggest that there is no such thing as true happiness and many authors support this view. Some say finding happiness lies mostly in the anticipation a happy event -- actual attainment of the goal is not important in the quest for happiness. The idea is that happiness is an illusion and finding happiness is just like chasing a rainbow. However futile this may seem, chasing the rainbow is necessary in order to live a full life. See my previous post on work for more.

Other authors claim that true happiness comes when one resists anticipation and lives in the present. Regular meditation and contemplation is necessary to achieve this state of mind. By stopping to smell the roses, we can often work more efficiently or avoid imminent danger.

My view is that you need a balance of both in order to live your life to its fullest potential. Whether you lean towards the first or second approach, if any, will depend entirely on your personality and philosophy. Here are some quotes which may guide you in finding happiness.

What to Do After Writing Down Goals - Two Thoughts

2007-07-22T13:59:00.001+10:00

Here are two thoughts that popped up in my head about what to do after you have written down your goals:

Have a think about how you are going to achieve your goal. If you have no idea how to proceed with your goal, do not worry because the solution will come to you soon enough. Have you noticed that whenever you think of something you see more of that thing? Opportunities are everywhere. Most people do not see them unless they are looking for them. If you be alert to opportunities you will eventually find them.
Do not be afraid to change and adjust goals as your life changes. For some people it may take a few years to discover their 'true' goal. Other people may find their purpose in life immediately. Life is about growth. So when you think you are not in tune with your goal, then move on and you will have renewed strength and motivation to continue on your life journey.

Persistence

2007-07-19T18:27:00.000+10:00

Persistence is essential to get to your goal. All great and successful people have exhibited undying persistence in their lives. Every endeavor you embark upon in your life will eventually run into a difficult period and 99% of people give up during this period. Only the remaining 1% succeed. If you are going through that difficult period and you persist, you are pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone. We can only grow through resistance.

Here are some tips to encourage persistence in you:

Clarify your reasons for your goals. If your reason stirs up strong emotions inside you, then you will be more likely to persist at that goal.
Break down your goals. Take baby steps and celebrate each small achievement and you will begin to enjoy working on your goal.
Find a way to keep score. If you know you are moving forwards then you'll be more inclined to work harder towards your goal. However if you are moving backwards, work out why.
Believe in yourself. Visualize yourself achieving your goal.

Persistence is usually a key factor that separates the average from the exceptional. Think about how easy it is to be catapulted to the top 1% when you persist. You will get a major head start in your endeavor if you persist. The best thing is anyone can persist. Think about a race with 100 contestants. You can be first just by simply persisting. No knowledge or skills required. It is one the best deals you will ever get.

Why you might not want to be successful

2007-07-13T22:12:00.000+10:00

Many people fear success. It's true. These people will unconsciously do all they can to escape success. Let me explain.

Anyone who embarks on a journey to success will meet obstruction. Many will meet danger. The journey to success is risky and it is this inherent risk that people fear. People want certainty. The last thing they want is to exchange their current conditions with something uncertain. However they know that if they do nothing, they will eventually fail. If they do something, they at least have a chance of succeeding. In other words, they fear success more than they fear failure.

If you are to be successful you need to come out of your comfort zone. This is why I suggest you, when you are writing your goals, to make goals that seem impossible. This will force you out of your comfort zone. As you keep on pushing the limits of your comfort zone, your comfort zone will gradually grow larger and encompass more experiences. Eventually your 'impossible' goals will become possible.

One of the biggest obstacles to success is the fear of disapproval. If you plan to become successful, people are going to try to pull you down. It's a fact. All successful people were at one time ridiculed and many of them are still in that position. If you want to be successful you have to be so motivated that no amount of disapproval will stop you.

These thoughts were inspired by the book Thick Face Black Heart. The book has some of the most novel ideas I have ever encountered. In fact the original text was once banned in China because of it's potent ideas which the officials feared may have lead to the common people overthrowing the government. I found this book very empowering. It was one of the first self-help books I read and I still refer to it. I recommend this book and you can buy it at a discount here.

Start with small goals

2007-07-12T16:29:00.000+10:00

Start with small goals before tackling big goals. Every morning, write down a mini-goal. It could be anything, from finishing off that piece of work to ordering a cup of coffee. Keep it simple at first and stick with things that are easy to accomplish. If you do this everyday, you will begin to experience the feeling of success and the power of thought.

Progress by choosing more difficult goals. These may take more than a day to complete. The more you practise the easier it'll become.

The Feeling of Success

2007-07-12T16:02:00.001+10:00

Have you ever contemplated the wisdom of flipping a pancake? If you think of what could go wrong (pancake sticking on the ceiling, not catching the pancake, pancake not landing flat, to name a few), then those very things are likely to happen. However if you have a feeling of perfection and poise inside you, then you are likely to flip the pancake successfully. You may have experienced this in other endeavors of your life, for example, when you are playing sport. You must clear your mind and only think of perfection to be able to apply physical technique successfully in sport.

It is true that success breeds success. The more success you have experience in life, the more success you'll be expecting, and the more success you will get. Have you ever noticed that people who are successful in one field tend to be successful in many others? You can utilise your success in one field to catapult yourself to success in another field. The good thing is your original success can be as simple as, say, winning a game of golf against your friend.

If you don't have any recent successes, then dig up your memory for past successes. Past successes may have lost their significance in your life but you can rejuvenate these memories simply by reliving it. Every night before you go to sleep, visualise your past successes and see it like a movie. Make the picture so clear and the sounds and smells so sharp that you truly think it is reality. This is what I mean by reliving a memory.

Anytime you need to accomplish a daunting task or have doubts as to your own abilities, just draw on your memory of successful moments. You will be surprised at how much this will help you attain your goals.

Proof of the law of attraction

2007-07-11T17:59:00.000+10:00

Have a listen to what the psychologists have to say about the law of attraction. According to research lead by Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky, happiness leads to success. He says that a happy individual is likely to :

be more productive
have better personal relationships
be healthier
be wealthier
be more generous
be more sociable

than one who is not happy.

This study is one of many proofs supporting the law of attraction. If you are happy you will think of positive thoughts and hold positive emotions inside you. This will lead to a positive reality. You can read more about the psychology study here.

A step by step guide to getting rich

2007-07-11T00:29:00.000+10:00

Let me tell you a step-by-step guide to getting rich.

The first thing to do is to write your goal down. Don't just write "I will be rich". Write every single detail down. I will earn a passive income of $10,000 a month and have 3 million dollars in net assets by the end of the year.
Read your goal every morning after you wake up and every night before you go to sleep.
Say your goal out loud. You must say it with conviction. I WILL EARN A PASSIVE INCOME OF $10,000 A MONTH AND HAVE 3 MILLION DOLLARS IN NET ASSETS BY THE END OF THE YEAR!!!
Visualise yourself as a millionaire. Imagine as much detail as you can. Where would you be living? What would you be driving? What would you be wearing? What would you be doing?
Meditate daily. This will open up your subconscious so it is more receptive to suggestion. The subconscious cannot tell between imagination and reality. So if you let your goal creep into your subconscious it will think that you have already achieved it.
Give thanks and be grateful for what you've got. This will plant seeds of abundance in your mind. If you think of abundance, that is what you're going to get. If you think of scarcity then that is what you'll get - nothing. Donate to charity to create an illusion of abundance and you will attract successful people in your life. Abundance will quickly become reality.
Know who the richest people are. More importantly, know how they became rich.
Read motivational books as often as you can.

If you have done all these steps, then getting rich will be inevitable. Remember, the law of attraction can work for any desire - not just monetary wants. If you truly believe that you already have what you want, then you will get it. The law of attraction seems like a very simple idea at first. However it is actually more difficult to practice than you think.

Truly believing in something is very different than pretending to believe. Notice how I haven't said anything about acting or taking that first physical step. If you truly believe, you need no effort to act. If you follow the steps you will act before you know it.

The Secret - Does it Work?

2007-07-04T15:32:00.000+10:00

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne is the latest self-help sensation. But does it actually work?

The main theme running throughout the whole book is the notion of thought. The current hype about the law of attraction rests its foundations on the notion of thought. Thought can bring love, happiness, money, and guide you through life. My opinion? I truly believe in this. The theory is approved of by great thinkers of old and modern times like Napoleon Hill, Abraham Lincoln, Ralph Emerson, Robert Kiyosaki, and Bill Gates. For a previous post on the notion of thought click here.

The law of attraction is in fact very simple: what you think is what you will attract. It is analogous to the well established phenomena of resonance. You've all seen the soprano break a wineglass just by singing the right note. What is physically happening is the soprano sends out a wave or a vibration of air molecules. This vibration travels through the air and everything (including the wine glass) in the surrounding vicinity will begin vibrating at the same frequency. Now the wine glass has a particular property called the natural frequency - in fact all objects have a unique physical property called the natural frequency. Physics tells us that the closer the frequency of the singing to the natural frequency of the glass, the more vigorously the glass will vibrate. So as the soprano hits the right note, one that is very close to the natural frequency of the glass, the glass will shake so violently that it'll break.

Same deal with thought. When you think, you send out a thought of a particular frequency. As a result, all surrounding things will begin vibrating. In particular, things which have the same or similar natural frequency to your thought will vibrate violently. And that is how the law of attraction works. By sending out thoughts, you will 'be in tune' with objects or situations which have the same natural frequency as your thoughts. You can apply this to all aspects of your life whether it is money, fame, relationships, or health. And that is the basic essence of The Secret.

I recommend The Secret if you have not come across the law of attraction before and you can buy it at a discount here. However, it is true that the law of attraction is an ancient concept and The Secret is just a modern representation of the law. If you want a read a more comprehensive and original (but longer and more difficult to read) treatment of the subject I would highly recommend The Master Key System by Charles Haanel. I have recommended this before and I still think it is the most comprehensive book on this subject. One thing's for sure, it is one of the oldest, if not the oldest, comprehensive text on the law of attraction. You can buy it at a discount here.

Be, Do, Have

2006-01-31T21:14:00.000+11:00

The order of goal attainment is be, do, then have. Let's see what this means. First of all, to have something, you must do something. That's quite obvious. However many people forget to be something, and so lose motivation, get sidetracked, and basically don't reach their goal. So you must be something before anything else. How do you be something? You must convince yourself that you have already attained your goal. Go through life as if you have all you wished for. It will become a self fulfilling prophecy.

By being something you open up opportunities for growth. Robert Kiyosaki, author of bestseller 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad', says that you must have the right context before you can find great financial opportunities. You must think that it is possible before it can happen. He likens this to a jar of water. If you are narrow minded, then your jar is tiny. Even if the great seas of the world and the mighty torrents of ancient waterfalls are poured over your jar, you will only be able to contain a small amount of water, the rest falling beyond your grasp. If you believe that your goal is possible no matter how crazy it might be, then your jar is big. Essentially, you have opened up the window of opportunity.

My message: Don't forget to be.

The Three P's of Work

2006-01-29T11:54:00.000+11:00

As I mentioned earlier, work is essential to success. Here are the three P's of work:

Purpose: You must have a goal. I can't emphasise this enough.

Perseverance: You must persevere and endure any hardships or criticisms along your journey.

Patience: Everything requires time. Waiting can be very beneficial - it gives you more time to think about your actions, perhaps formulate a better strategy. One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. Click Here for more quotes on patience.

Farmers

2006-01-28T14:58:00.000+11:00

The farmer understands the method to success. If they miss the sowing season, they will have no crop for the year. If they miss the harvesting season, they will have a field of rotting fruit. If they forget to fertilise, they will not have a good crop. Farmers know the meaning of: the only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. Embrace the simple wisdom of farmers and you too can harvest a successful life.

A story

2006-01-04T15:52:00.000+11:00

This is a story of a man. He failed in business at the age of twenty-one. He failed again in politics at twenty-two. He failed again in business at twenty-four. His sweetheart died when he was twenty-six, making him very depressed. Subsequently he had a nervous breakdown at twenty-seven. He failed in politics again at thirty-four and failed again two years later. He failed yet again at forty-five. He failed becoming vice president after another two years. He failed in politics again at the age of forty-nine. At the age of fifty-two he became the president of the United States. He was Abraham Lincoln.

During all those hardships Lincoln said, "Well, I feel just like the boy who stubbed his toe - too damned badly hurt to laugh and too damned proud to cry."

Work

2006-01-02T12:07:00.000+11:00

Last post I was writing about how work is paramount to avoid a 'half-life'.

'When you work, you fulfill a part of earth's fondest dream, assigned to you when the dream is born.' Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese-American artist and poet

This should sum up most of the stuff from last post. If you want to read more of Gibran's quotes click here.

In search for a stress free life

2006-01-01T20:09:00.000+11:00

Research has shown that stress can be good. However many people try to eliminate stress from their lives. That's fine to an extent. Just don't focus all your energy on achieving what people call a stress free life, absolutely no stress, no deadlines and especially no work.

When there is no stress in our lives, we become lifeless. We wander aimlessly. Beware, because this is worse than death - it is living death. We must always have a goal or a deadline. This is the only way to move forwards.

I use to play a lot of computer games when I was 11. I would look forward to Friday nights, because I could play all night until about 3am, sometimes longer. The next morning, after a very short sleep, I would be in an unproductive state. I would accomplish no homework, no housework, or any work. I might have had a few naps here and then but I lived a 'half-life' for the day. This would continue for the whole weekend, and on Monday I would feel tired and stressed out. Looking back I feel regret. Such unproductiveness, even to the extent of damaging my health and vitality.

Embrace stress because stress helps us expand our comfort zone, making us achieve the seemingly impossible. Stress can make or break us. Many have let stress overcome them, and now they are drug addicts, alcoholics and mad men. Don't let that happen. Make sure YOU overcome stress. If so, stress will become your saviour.

Taking your first step

2005-12-31T19:10:00.000+11:00

I'm back from Melbourne. I had a lovely time and I hope you all had a great Christmas. While I was down at Bells Beach, something hit me. I mean, I suddenly thought of something which I could write in this blog. When you want to catch a wave on your surfboard, you have to be travelling at the same speed as the wave, before you catch it. No matter how long you wait, if you just sit there, you won't catch a wave. What's the lesson in this, I hear you ask? Well it's all about 'tuning in' to your desires. Don't expect anything good to happen if you just sit there. You, and only you, must take the first step.

Like catching a wave, you have to be at the same 'speed' as your desires. In other words, you have to make sure your first step brings you closer to your desires, even if its just an inch closer. Once you overcome your inertia, you'll find that the wave will catch you and everything else will be plain sailing (or surfing). It may take a few days to a few years to overcome your inertia. During this time, you'll get tired and want to give up. Remember you might catch the wave with one more paddle and, if you don't, there is always another wave.

Taking your first step is easy. That is if you know what you want. You must have a goal or at least a dream. In fact, making up some goals can be your first step. Writing them down can can be your second. This is just an example but you can see that taking your initial steps is really not that hard. Very soon you'll be more attached to your goal. You'll have enough motivation to keep on going. You'll start making more challenging steps. Soon enough the wave will catch you.

It all starts with the first step. Think about what you could do right now. It can be anything, nothing is too simple to bother doing. Actually start with something simple, then build your way up. Here are some examples of what a first step might be:

write down your goals
make up some goals (here's a link to my previous post on goalsetting)
visualise your goals in bed (here's a link to my previous post on visualisation)
ring up people who may be instrumental to your goal
find more information about your goals
read success stories (especially of people who have already accomplished your goal or something similar)
write a list of simple steps which will bring you closer towards your goal, not necessarily to your goal because that will come when you catch the wave

These are just some of the things you could do as your first step. Not hard at all. So do something NOW.

There is no better time

2005-12-23T09:38:00.000+11:00

There is no better time to write down goals than now. Do not wait until tomorrow because tomorrow will never come. The year is also coming to an end, so it is a perfect time to make new year resolutions. If you haven't already written your goals down and you haven't by the end of the year, I'm afraid you might never write them down.

A few points to remember when writing down goals:

Make them detailed. Instead of 'I will become rich', say 'I will have 3 million dollars in net assets by 2007, and own a mansion on the coast.'
Ask yourself: ' When will I know that I have reached my goal? What will I feel, see or hear? What would be sufficient evidence that I have reached my goal?' These questions are like keeping score. Otherwise you may never know when you have reached your goal.
Make sure your goal is compatible with your dream. Your dream is the final station in life. It is the ultimate goal, in a sense.
Don't be scared to reach for the stars. Mediocre goals call for mediocre effort. Goals are meant to stretch your limits and it is impossible to know your potential limits until you have tested them. There is a lovely saying: Reach for the moon, if you miss you'll fall amongst the stars.

Ok there you have it. Goals on a silver platter and now its up to you to take action. I'll be in Melbourne over Christmas so I won't post for a week.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Writing Goals Down

2005-12-22T11:50:00.000+11:00

Only 2% of the population write their goals down. Writing goals down is so powerful, it's amazing. People who write their goals down, stuff it in their drawer, and forget about it for 6 months, later find that 60% of their written goals are accomplished. Imagine what power they can unleash if they concentrated on accomplishing their goals.

So that's the tip of the day. 20mins spent writing your goals down can change your life for good. How much better can that get? Only 20mins.

Anyway, whilst I was perusing through blogs, I found a particularly good blog on success and motivation called 'Upgrade Your Mind'. You should check it out.

Endurance leads to Success: Part 2

2005-12-21T16:25:00.000+11:00

When the cicada heard of this story, he said to the dove, "When I want to climb the elm tree, I fly and try to reach for higher ground. Sometimes I miss and fall to ground, but I slowly and surely make progress. Why does Pung have to travel thousands of kilometres without making any visible progress? The dove agreed: Pung was a fool. And so did every other animal in the kingdom.

So there it is. The fable of Pung. I hope you get the moral of the story because it captures the essence of endurance. If you don't, read on. I've identified two pearls of wisdom in this story:

1. When a person wants to have a short sail around the bay in his sailboat, he'll have to pack enough food for a few hours. When a person wants to have an epic journey across the Pacific Ocean, he'll have to pack enough food for a few months. If you are aiming for a great accomplishment in life, you need extensive preparation. This doesn't just mean gathering enough resources, it also includes waiting for the opportune time for action.

2. When preparing for your epic journey in life, you will criticised. That's why you need to be true to your conviction and believe that, in the end, you will get what you set out for. And you will. Only then can you brush off the criticisms lightly and endure criticism because you know you are a Pung bird and the others, well, not Pung birds.

That's it for today.

(The thoughts on endurance were inspired by 'Thick Face Black Heart' by Chin-Ning Chu)

Endurance leads to Success

2005-12-21T11:24:00.000+11:00

One of the greatest virtues of all successful people is the ability to endure. Many of you might have learnt this as perseverance but I rather use the word endurance. What's the difference? Well, perseverance means a constant struggle forwards against opposition, whereas endurance is, well, endurance. With endurance there is no need to struggle forwards. Sometimes it even means moving backwards, away from your goals. This doesn't mean you give up - you are just waiting for the optimum or most opportune time to take action.

There is a old fable by Chuang Tzu, who was a philosopher in ancient China about 2,200 years ago, which illustrates the magic of endurance. It begins of with a fish called Kun. Now, this fish isn't just an ordinary fish. It's thousands of metres long. Kun evolves into Pung, which is a huge bird, thousands of metres wide. Don't ask me why. To Pung, success means flying southwards over the great sea to the Celestial Pool. Pretty easy task, don't you think? Nup! First, Pung beats his wings furiously and rises to a height of ninety thousand kilometres. It takes him 6 months to do this. Only then can he begin his journey southwards towards the Celestial Pool with nothing in his way.

A boat cannot float if the water is too shallow. Empty a cup of water on the floor and you can get a straw to float on the water, but the cup will sink. Similarly, if there is not enough wind, it cannot support great wings. Only when the Pung is ninety thousand kilometres high, can the wind support him.

To be continued...

Thought for the Day: Thought

2005-12-20T11:50:00.000+11:00

When you have found a worthwhile dream that you're passionate about (and this may take a few months to possible a year, if you've never actually given thought to your life), you may be wondering: how am I going to get there? You may search and search for the answer but never find it. Don't worry, this is natural. In fact, this is a good sign. Dreams are meant to seem difficult or even impossible. If they're not, then they're not dreams, they are only short term goals - stepping stones to your dream. So how are you going to get to this impossible dream? The answer is thought.

If you imagine your dream, visualise clearly, then you will find a way. By holding the image or picture in the mind, we slowly but surely bring the thing closer to us. We can be what we will to be. Hmmm maybe I lost about half of you in the last few sentences. Let me explain. If think of being rich, you will be rich. If you think of being poor, you will be poor. If you think of yourself being the best comedian in the world, you will be the best comedian in the world. What you think is what you will become. Food for thought, hey?

Now, I didn't make this mumbo jumbo up. This stuff is agreed upon by great thinkers of old and modern times like Napoleon Hill, Ralph Emerson, Robert Kiyosaki, and Bill Gates. It is rumoured that after Bill Gates read 'The Master Key System' by Charles F. Haanel he immediately abandoned his studies to build his wealth empire. 'The Master Key System' is where I got most of that stuff in the last paragraph. If you want you can buy it at a discount here.

Just before I finish off, I have to warn you. Thought can change your life for the better or the worse. If you think of negative thoughts, you will become a very 'negative' person. Your life will attract negative people and everything that happens in your life will be negative. In other words, you'll be cursed. I hate to say such scary and ill things, but its true.

So get in control of your life. Oh yes by the way, remember Martin Flood's recent million dollar win on 'Who wants to be a millionaire'? The key ingredient to his win is visualising his win (and of course hard work, read the news clip here). This just goes to show this 'thought theory' is not airy fairy talk. It is real and happening all around us.

Success and Money

2005-12-19T22:46:00.000+11:00

If I told you to write down your major goal in life, what would you write? If you've never given a thought to what you want in life, I could guess quite confidently that your goal has something to do with having more money. This is quite sad. Don't get me wrong, many people out there really want to have more money because they think of it as their empire. Its just that many people don't actually think carefully about it. So materialistic is our world that many people are numbed to believing: if they have lots of money, they'll be happy.

I believe that each person is unique. I belive each person has a passion. If you don't find out this passion you'll never be happy. Money is only a vehicle. A necessary vehicle. So have a think, correction: a really good and careful think, about what it is you really want. And remember, small dreams are just as good as big dreams.